Parents of Estranged Adult Kids
The Pain of Parental Estrangement
A Common Story
Estrangement from a family member is always difficult for everyone involved, but it is especially painful for parents when the relationship with one or more children has been severed. The trauma is as deep and debilitating as injuries from a car accident, but shame and embarrassment make it difficult to seek help. Yet, estrangement is common. It is estimated that nearly one out of every eight parents is estranged from an adult child. One in every five older adults is considered an “elder orphan” with no one to turn to in a time of need. If you are one of them, please don’t try to go it alone any longer.
Our Purpose
Our mission is to companion estranged parents of adult kids through a program that offers healing while enhancing their lives.
PEAK is focused on the development and expansion of a recovery movement. The core of the movement is a standardized set of open and closed group experiences. These group experiences are carefully designed to support parents who find themselves estranged from their adult children, either because one or more of their children has made the decision to withdraw from the relationship or because the parent has found it necessary to establish a boundary that the adult child has declined to honor.
While a healthy re-connection is always the preferred outcome, the immediate goal of PEAK is to help parents move toward acceptance of the relationship between themselves and their estranged children. Nonetheless, we celebrate every healthy reconciliation that may occur during the PEAK recovery process.
PEAK is not an appropriate resource for estranged adult children who have legitimate needs that are distinct from those of their parents, and require different resources.
PEAK’s diverse community welcomes estranged parents of all backgrounds. We believe that everyone deserves to recover from the trauma of parental estrangement. As people of integrity and principle PEAK would not deny anyone suffering the pain of estrangement the opportunity to recover among those who have benefitted from the community and fellowship of others like themselves. We welcome everyone - parents, staff, and volunteers - to our activities regardless of marital status, faith tradition, national origin, sexual orientation, or political affiliation.
A Father's Dream
“And so I live,
knowing you are there,
somewhere in the world,
a natural wonder,
irreplaceable,
but no path to find you again.
Even then, the broken is sharp,
and the gentlest touch still cuts.
I dream of a day
when the edges of the glass
are worn down by the waves of time
and the sand of suffering,
that I might find you once more,
and we might sit beside one another,
just two shades of green
watching the setting sun.”
PEAK subscribes to a no-fault approach to parental estrangement. This does not mean faultless. We recognize that both the parent and the child are hurting. Both the parent and child need healing, no matter what form the healing takes, as long as it is a healthy alternative to the pain of estrangement. PEAK’s no-fault philosophy means that we take action immediately to begin the healing process without waiting to assign blame to either the parent or the adult child. Everyone deserves to recover.
PEAK specifically addresses the pain and trauma of the estranged parent. While there are similarities in the multiple impacts estrangement has on a parent and a child, there are also impacts that are unique to each generation - parents, children, and grandchildren. We provide a safe, supportive, and healing environment in which parents can engage in their own relational audit. A no-fault approach means that we stay focused on our own healing process, expanding our self-awareness, and taking concrete steps toward recovery.
While we celebrate with estranged parents when a reconciliation occurs, we also believe a healthy reconciliation is less likely if either party is experiencing the high impact of the many co-occurring impacts brought about by estrangement.
PEAK is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization dedicated to helping parents who are estranged from their adult children recover from the trauma of that estrangement. PEAK is run by volunteers and all of your donation helps support the costs of keeping the organization available to everyone who needs support. Thank you for your support.